We are 100% responsible for our own emotions. People play a part in what they do towards us but it’s up to us to decide what we’re going to do and how we’re going to feel as a result.
For example, if someone walks up to you and tells you that you’re the dumbest person that they’ve ever known. How would that make you feel? Now if that person goes up to someone else and says the same thing, that other person may feel and respond in totally different manner than you.
So who’s responsible for how you felt about it? You decide whether you’re going to get mad and punch that person in the face and ruminate over it the rest of the day. Or you could decide that yes, that was rude and uncalled for but you also know that it’s more of a reflection on THEM, not you. That lets you shrug it off, and move on with your day in total confidence that you re, in fact, pretty darn smart. The action is the constant but the reaction is the variable.
So next time you go to blame your emotions on someone else, remember that they may be totally out of the line but they’re not telling you how to feel. That’s YOUR choice and yes, you’re in total control! No one said it was easy and, of course, some offenses are worse than others but this still remains true. There are people who have had family members murdered that found the strength not to retaliate but to forgive. Does that mean that they love their lost loved one any less? No, it means that they didn’t let the offender’s actions take over and ruin them as a person. This takes strength, but it’s possible.